Love Like Breathing

Today’s Matters

I miss teaching. I miss talking. I miss discussions with the Holla Mommas on all things that make up our today. I miss hugging my soul sister and sharing how very real God is today. 

An unexpected byproduct of our move has been the missed things above. Most of my misses involved words and community and comraderie. 

I can talk to my Handsome (but it’s not the same…he doesn’t care about my nails or if I’m growing my hair out or now).  

 I can talk to Little Man. Sometimes. If he’s not in a mood or playing baseball.   

  I can talk to Sister Girl. If I can get a word in or if she’s not too busy not doing what I ask her to do.  

 I started Love Like Breathing because I needed to talk. I need to tell. I need to say the things. But the last two days have been hard. And I feel confident I hit an all time low with the snake heart video. (I’m going to apologize for that right now).

I was reminded today to blog about what I know. Or what I don’t know. What matters today!  

 Today I know that we are settling in this little town. Finding our places. Creating new spaces. Remembering names and making family connections. 

This matters. 

The names I learned today are important. They matter.

The places I go are important because they bring me to new faces. They matter.

The faces are important because they are part of my community. My community matters. 
 I know God moved our family here for a great reason. I know the places and spaces and faces are a big part of that great reason. 

And today…that’s what matters. 

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Booger the Snake

Snakes scare me. They freak me out. I don’t like them at all….ever…

Handsome had a snake when we met. (Get your head out of the gutter). It was a 8 ft red tail boa. It was big. And a snake. (I have an irrational fear of snakes….thank you toot-toot tommy.) 

It was a part of who Handsome was so I went with it. It freaked me out…. So that I felt safe and not scared, I named the snake Booger. I ask handsome what the snake’s name was when I first met her and handsome’s response was…”Why would I name it? It’s not like it will come when I call it.” So snake was named Booger because boogers aren’t scary. 

  
Tonight at the farm we killed a snake. A deathly killer snake. (I made that up but I just totally hate them.)

It was a big snake. I had the toot-toot reaction that consists of irrational fear and shivering. It was the biggest snake I’ve seen today. (Also the only one. But that’s not the point).

Brother said…”at least it want as big as booger”…

It’s been 12 years since we shared our home with booger the gigantic snake. She moved out when we moved to our first house. Along with the piranhas… We had a whole exotic super scary pet vibe for a while. I told you we were street! (Ha ha ha). I’ll tell you the piranha story too one day. 

Handsome looked at brother with an inquisitive look at the booger comment.

H: Booger wasn’t it’s name. 

B: What? I thought it’s name was booger. 

Me: ha ha ha. I called it booger because boogers aren’t scary. 

H:It didn’t have a name because it didn’t come when I called it. 

Totally right….boogers aren’t scary. 

That’s my wisdom for the day. 

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Story Telling

When my dad was in his late teens,  he was driving along the railroad tracks picking up cross ties. 

When he got to a place that was a little too muddy, he decided to drive up on the tracks and ended up getting his truck stuck on the tracks. So he got out and walked over to the house across the pasture to call a tow truck. Just as the tow truck company answered the phone, he heard the toot of a train horn coming down the tracks. He said “Never Mind”, hung up and went outside just in time to see the engine ram into his pickup. Dad started running along with the gentleman that let him use the phone. 

About half way across the pasture, daddy turned to the farmer and asked why they were running. 

The farmer said, “there might be someone in that pickup”. 

Dad said, “There wasn’t anyone in it when I left.”

   
My dad was a story teller. He could make up some crazy stuff. He could get himself involved in some shenanigans. He was a giant of a man and my hero. 

Monday will be the 4th time it has been October 12th without my dad. I don’t want to talk about it on Monday so I thought I’d share one of his stories today. 

  
This is day 7 of my #write31days blogging challenge. Today was hard. Tomorrow needs to be funny….

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Surrounded by People

I spent the weekend with 18,000 women. It was a good weekend of girl time. It was a good weekend to be with the girls that understand me and still like me anyway. It was a good weekend to be surrounded by thousands of women and not feel alone. 

Since we made the big move, alone has been there just under the surface. A little alone is good my my soul. Tiffany-time gives me the desire to be nice to the people I live with. But too much alone time gives Crazy the green light for her judging and snipping. She’s remained silent for much of the move but as the dust settles she’s in the shadows waiting to strike. 

(Crazy is the mean chick in my head. She is always up to something. Read more here.)

There were so many women in one place.

 My Holla Mommas were with me.   

Ladies from my old church were there.   

My first college room mate was there (and on the big screen).   
My First “adult” BFF was there.   

I even made new friends.   

And just had a fantastic weekend. 

All while surround by people. New friend, old friends, church friends, childhood friends, groupie friends and best friends. 

Even though I missed a day of my writing challenge, it was worth it to fill up with for time and good food. (Let’s not mention missed day 3 again….deal?) 

I’m saving my brush with fame for day 5!

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17 minutes passed

day 2 of the #write31challenge and I’m 17 minutes late. But I have a good reason. 

  
I’m with my Holla Mommas. My besties. My tribe. 

So I’ll be good about blogging and writing once my soul is refreshed. 

And we have another day together. There will be so much to share. 

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31 Things to Say?

It’s October… I’m working on a new blog and decided to take the 31 day writing challenge.

The blog is not quite finished but I’ve been working on it for over a month and decided it’s time to just put it out there and move forward. I’ve had two fairly active blogs in the past. One focused on my kids and one that addresses the other parts of my life. Here is where I will bring it all together.

Since our everything is new, I decided a new blog is in order. One that documents how our lives shape and change and bomb and win….and all of the stuff that falls in between.

I’m still pretty unsure about all of it. About the time I feel confident and good, the next step I fall and get frustrated (and may even cuss). So this journey has been more difficult than I thought it would be and I want to be honest about the struggles we face and the beautiful life that all those struggles create.

Besides…there are cows and soon there will be chickens…and I have no idea what to do with livestock. I feel like once we have chickens I will need to garden. And then I will need to learn how to can food “for the winter”. (Okay, that last part made me laugh a little).

But you get it right? This is going to be a mess. Please stick around for the journey…I promise it will be entertaining and we may just let God teach us something along the way.

If the whole chicken thing doesn’t work out, we can always turn the chicken coop into a really cool clubhouse….

31 days of writing and saying stuff that I think people want to hear…Sometimes I’m not sure I should share my unfiltered thoughts, but that’s what I’m going to do.

See you back here tomorrow.

The blog hopper circle is up today. I have to joy of sharing a blog circle with some amazing women. Our circle keeps us connected and accountable to blogging each month. Click Here to go to the Lavender Drop to see how my beautiful friend Jana is using essential oils for her stinky dogs this month.

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We are Here

We are Here.

Dearest Michael and Katelynn,

School is in full swing.

We have found our rhythm and it is so good.

We know when to wake, when to eat, when to hurry it up, and when to be in the car.

We know when the train goes through town and stops traffic for a few minutes and when to leave for school so we don’t get stuck in the line.

We know what to expect each day, who our teachers are, who the talkers are and how we are going to be picked up at the end of the day.

STRUCTURE feels so good.

We are adjusting to wearing uniforms and getting over the loss of our “fashion freedom”.

We have a lot of orange and wear it with Pride.

We have our homework routine down.

We know when we have to work and when we can wait until tomorrow.

We have been to a football game and have figured out what it means to be a part of a small town that gets excited when Friday night rolls around.

We also figured out that the concession stand has blizzards and chic-fil-a so it’s the coolest concession stand we have ever visited.

We are BEARS!

We have found some people.

We have found places and spaces in this community that are beginning to feel comfortable.

We are building our tribe and figuring out how that works in the new setting.

We have found a dance studio, a baseball team, and a church.

We have been hunting in the back yard.

We have been shooting at sticks and cans and birds.

We have all the camo and can sit in the field for hours.

We are settling into the house.

It’s all unpacked except for the VHS tapes…because, why do we have a box of VHS tapes? And what about the box of CD cases….Why do we have a box of CD cases and where are the CDs?

We (I) may have a problem with the above mentioned boxes.

We are working hard.

We are remembering to feed the animals and are preparing for chickens. (What??)

We check the cows everyday and run at them with flapping arms when they are in the yard.

We are finding free time.

(We are obviously having some unsupervised free time.)

We are taking “prison showers” in the yard because we are enjoying the outside.

We are learning about the property and the river and the cave and all the cool forest stuff there is to do when you live in the country.

We have had a lot of family time.

We are settling in.

We are figuring out the place the God has prepared for us.

We just might make make it in our new place.

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Why Love?

Learning to love should be so simple. It should come naturally, like breathing. Something I don’t have to sit and think about doing. But honestly, that’s not how it works at all.

In our new community, I want to love. I want to love the slower pace and the beautiful people that God puts in my path. I want to love the limited selections and find peace in less distractions.

I want to document this progression of love here on this new blog.

I want to see and love…..like breathing.

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