Posted on October 4, 2016
A Good Place
We moved here last summer. After being here a couple of months, we finally decided on the church we get involved in.
This was not an easy decision for me. I church “dated” for months. I tried several different ones and loved a few in a neighboring town but was determined to find one in my community. “In my community”. That’s what kept me coming back to the church we have planted ourselves in.
It’s the same reason I chose not to transfer my kids to another school district in our area. To a “better” school…
If God wanted my kids to go to school in another district, He would have moved me to another district.
If God wanted us to find a new church family in a different town, that’s the town we would have moved to.
So we stayed local and ended up joining the church we were married in. (Isn’t that sweet?)
This church is not like my home church that I loved so fiercely. It was not the same size. Did not have the same opportunities. Did not have the same music or teaching or youth ages.
Not the same but right where we needed to be. This decision was solidified one Sunday when the pastor said, “If you’re looking for a church home, why not here? This is a good place.”
He was right. We are involved and loved. Missed and depended on. We have friends and care about our church family.
It is a good place.
Find your place or your tribe. Find community. And settle in for the ups and downs. Settle in for relationship and new friends.
Posted on October 3, 2016
Hot Guy Prayers
Last week, I was able to share part of my day with a new friend. It was so fun. I very rarely take time to stop and spend time with someone without and agenda or a to do list.
Our long, unstructured lunch gave us the opportunity to talk about struggles and triumphs. Right now she is battling through a very hard season. Nothing particularly terrible has happened, but she feels like so much of her days is uphill. This is particularly hard when the babes are little.
I remember when my life felt like it was falling apart in 2009. My analogy for that year was… I felt like a broken toilet. The kind that only swirls the crap around when you hold down the handle. Life kept sitting on me and crapping but there was no relief….just the constant sh%#-swirl around me.
My dad had his stroke. My family had upheaval in our business. I had a wreck, got a new job, and clung tightly to my marriage. I paid a lot of money for therapy because I could not handle life at the time.
So much of that year was spent in tears and heartache. So much of that year was anger and attitude. So much of that year felt like failure.
Looking back, I think we survived because of stubbornness. We would not fail. We would not quit. He was not going to be a better spouse than me!
Through this season, I began praying for the hot guy at my house. And it was a simple prayer…
“God, please show me how to love him well today.”
Everyday I would ask God how to love him. That’s it. And the love he needed from me was never the same. Some days it was a listening ear. Some days it was extra respect during a hard conversation. (Some days I totally lost it and did not love him at all.)
Many times I asked God to show me how to love him because I didn’t have it in me.
We’ve been together for 18 years. I’m so thankful for him. I love him more now than I did when I thought he was just a hot tattooed guy at the pool.
Try it. You will be amazed at how your perspective will change.
(It also helps to remember that at one time in your life, you thought he was really handsome/thoughtful/clever.)
Posted on October 2, 2016
Halloween Stress
Halloween will be here before I’m ready.
It is not my favorite holiday. I don’t have a very good reason. It’s not a religious thing. It’s a lazy thing. The thought of trying to come up with a costume wears me out.
Ninja princess??
To avoid this stress, I do not participate in my children’s costume decisions. They pick out whatever they want to be. I’ll drive them to the store and make suggestions they will ignore.
Usually the day before Halloween, I realize we could do better and try to come up with the best costume ever. And I stress a little.
Then we walk out the door for the candy in mask and a dance costume….again.
How do you prep for Halloween? What side of the fence do you fall on….all out or not at all?
This picture is actually from Christmas Eve a few years ago…
Updated on October 1, 2016
Letter to My Children: Attitudes Abound
Each month I participate with other mom bloggers. It’s a great way to show off our kids and keep up with their monthly shenanigans. Click HEREfor Holli’s letter to her littles (but wait until you read my “love” letter, then come back and click).
Dear Michael and Katelynn,
The first month of school has flown by. We have so few minutes in our days and I’m beginning to feel the strain of all these balls in the air. I know you feel it too. I’m sorry for the crazy busy life we are barely maintaining right now. Can I take this opportunity to blame you a little for it? I will admit that many of our over-scheduling is due to my inability to say no.
But you, Michael, have some skin in this rat race. Baseball and baseball and football and school have worn us slap out. In the middle of this complaint, I do want to make sure to tell you how proud I am of you.
Baseball and baseball and football and school have not knocked you down. Your maintaining a great attitude and average. You have tested and listened and vegged in front of the tv just like any normal almost teenager.
Just like when you were a toddler and beginning to experience life and new freedoms, this season of almost teen-ing has afforded you the opportunity to express yourself differently. You are learning how to roll your eyes and have mastered the “really mom” response in a way that would make your future children proud.
I dare say you are a high-functioning middle school kid. Good job handsome. Keep up the good work. Drop a little of the attitude. Deal?
Now you, Katelynn, are not responsible for our scheduling circus but you’ve created a unique way of wearing me down slowly and methodically.
Thanks to your new expressions of angst and anger and anxiety, I’ve been able to add self-help books to my schedule. I’ve spent time trying to be patient and parent you better. I’ve listened to books on tape as I go about my day because I’m determined to love you well and help you navigate the stormy seas of the end of your childhood.
I’m sorry this season has been so rough for you. I’m sorry I am so inadequate to fix whatever this is we are muddling through. I’m also sorry that this is a repeat of last month’s letter. (I’m so sorry someone showed you snap chat…)
I’m not sorry that we are still going toe to toe on important issues such as pony tail height and putting food in your face. I’m not sorry because these conflicts mean you are growing and learning. These fight responses are molding you into the gorgeous girl you are. And one day you’ll take up this fight for a worthy cause and change the world.
Despite these moments of chaos, we have great times of laughter and heart to heart talks. You are funny and quick witted. You know what you like and think and believe. And I’ll go toe to toe with you everyday if builds your confidence and solidifies who you are!
Whether I like it or not, you are both growing up. I’m thankful to be your mom along for the ride. But sometimes being nice to me for two days in a row would be cool. Just a suggestion!
Love you the most. -mom
Posted on September 15, 2016
Strong-willed loving
My firecracker is fighting hard right now.
Battling things I can’t see or understand.
Taking a fierce stance against me and dad just to fight something.
I’m broken and hurt and can’t see the end.
But I will keep showing up, even when I’m ready to quit.
I’ll keep helping you, even when you’re done with me.
I’ll be here fighting beside you until you realize we’re on the same team.
I love you kid…always will.
Updated on September 14, 2016
Neglected Gardens
Baseball was cancelled today. Which means we have a night during the week that we are home before 8:00. Which also means, the neglect the farm has experienced since school started can be remedied. Which is why the picture above is 100 jalapeños picked today.
What you can see are the 20 banana peppers, 3 bell peppers, 8 okra and 25 eggs that I also collected.
I’m pretty certain the garden is happier when I’m not fussing over it. Of course so are the ants and weeds.
We’ve also had two additions that have flourished from my neglect. These two babies are Loretta’s. She is the last one to sit on Little Jerry Seinfeld’s eggs before his relocation. So I let her sit.
She had three other eggs in her best but got sidetracked with these two and neglected the others. I was so worried about these littles. She wouldn’t let me close to them. And she wouldn’t get in the coop with them.
Loretta and the kids hung out with the teenagers under the coop for about a week. Starting this weekend, Loretta and the kids have been inside the coop at night. It’s been fun trying to figure out how she gets them in.
Loretta has been great protecting these two. She teaches them to scratch and has the other Ladies scared to get too close. She even gets after Big Mike if he looks in her direction
Here are the teenagers. These are the three chicks we “saved” and decided to raise. They are skittish. They don’t play well with the other chickens. And they are in their awkward teenage ugly stage. (They look rough and don’t play well with others.)
We have settled into a rhythm. It’s a pretty constant and chaotic rhythm but it’s our own special beat.
How’s your rhythm? What is happening to the things in your life that are falling through the cracks?
I pray you aren’t drowning from all your yes-es or rushing so fast your day has turned to a blur.
Slow down. Take a deep breath. And tell me what I’m to do with 100 jalapeños!
Updated on September 1, 2016
Letters to my children: September 2016
Each month I have the privilege of joining some incredible mothers as we document how quickly our kids grow. This is our September blog circle. Click here to read Holli’s pre-baby post to her boys.
These letters are pretty challenging for me to write. It feels like each month, we are in a bad “place” and I don’t feel like writing my words down for people to see. (One or the other…they take turns being turd fergusons.) But I’m finding that this is a good place for me to talk to them. I also want to be honest about how we hurt and struggle and win and rejoice. So, my words are here. Not pretty or grammatically correct, but here nonetheless for you to see.
Michael, Hey there handsome. I still can’t quite believe you are in 7th grade. Two weeks in and I think its gonna be a good year. This is our first year to play football. We weren’t real sure how it was going to work out. Some of those kids are pretty big and I was not ready for our first concussion or broken bone. To my surprise, you have really taken to it. You have been carrying a football everywhere…and have even taught sister some plays. I’m very proud of your dedication.
Our schedule has been crazy. I’m including this because in a few years I’ll be bored and wonder why these days flashed by us. We leave for school at 7:15. I pick you up at 4:30 after football practice. On Monday and Tuesday, we leave at 5:15 for baseball and get home around 8:45. The floors aren’t clean. The laundry is always behind. But you are having so much fun. Thank you for working hard on your school work and remembering that it comes first. I’ll keep sneaking snickers in your lunch box if you promise to keep the good attitude going.
The best part about our crazy schedule is the time you and I get to spend in the car together. We read. We dance. We talk. It is by far the best part of my day with you. So thanks for being a pretty cool kid. For stepping in at church and becoming part of a new group of people. For keeping me on my toes and having a fantastic sense of humor. And for loving me even when I know my crazy train is coming full force at you.
Love, mom
Dearest Katelynn,
We have been struggling. I’ve been calling your episodes “panic attacks” because I am really at a loss for words and feel completely helpless as I watch you unravel. The beginning of school didn’t feel stressful but it sure did manifest itself in very ugly ways. I think your body is trying to figure out how to grow up, even though no one is ready for it. (Hormones make us crazy).
I also think your body has forgotten how to process sugar. We have tied 3 of your last episodes to poor food choices. (This is such a hard topic for me. I have always had such a poor body image and I do not want you to ever have the same thoughts about yourself that I have battled since I was your age.) But, sugar is not treating you very well. The 3 “rages” were after you had a dessert. I’ve done some research and found out that sugar spikes can lead to aggression and irritation. When the endorphins are rushing, it can also be the reason you eyes dilate and you feel out of control.
I’m so proud of how you are responding to this unexpected change. You have been listening and making great choices. You have talked it out with me and are learning what is best for your body. Good job!
I do have to confess that this process has been pretty crappy for me. It is very hard for me to be nice to you when you are disrespectful and mean to me. (I’m only documenting this so that we can remember these days when you have a 10 year old daughter… )
Katelynn, your struggles last year have really changed you. It is incredible to see what a strong person you continue to be even when it feels like you are falling behind in the “win” column. I know you are going to take on the world head first and that these years will be such good prep work for whatever path you find yourself on soon.
Thank you for teaching me patience. Thank you for being brutally honest in your hurts and feelings. Thank you for forgiving me and for knowing I love you so.
To the moon and back, mom.
Updated on August 17, 2016
Want It Wednesday: Planner Edition
Planners, calendars, and all things office supply related make me so happy. Between now and the end of the year, I will be on the hunt for the perfect planner….and I will buy too many and try them out for a few days until my facebook feed shows me something better.
Here is a list of some of the planners I’ve purchased and some that I have been staring out for a couple of weeks. The name of each planner is a link you can use to hop over to the website and shop. (You’re welcome).
Living Well Planner is from the website/book Living Well Spending Less. This planner is on sale for $49 right now. It’s normally $55. It is a large planner which is the size I prefer. I comes with budget and meal planning pages and is colorful.
I loved the pages in this planner but I did not love the rings and how it was put together. I also did not like that it wasn’t dated but I bought some cute stickers on Amazon to fix that problem. I ended up taking the pages off the rings, wrapping the holes in washi tape, and putting them in a DayTimer binder cover (that I paid too much for). I still haven’t decided if I’ll use this one again this year or not. There is a facebook group for the planner and a lot of ideas are shared so it is a planner “community” which should really thrill you if you have the same addiction I do.
**Update: While looking for a picture to post, I looked at the new planner you can pre-order and got excited about the lay-out and new pages… I would still take them out of the rings and put it in my day timer binder.
The Rituals for Living Dreambook from Dragontree Apothecary is really cool. (I have this one too.) This one costs $45.I bought it to help me set and meet some goals. It also has a facebook group. I like the book and the questions it asks. Some of the wording in the book (and especially in the Facebook group) makes my Baptist southern girl feelers nervous, but I think finding an environment that outside of my normal groups is healthy. I’m staying in and reading about people “finding their own truths”…whatever that means.
This is great if you have some planning and goals that you need to hash out somewhere. It is visually appealing and I will probably use it more for some goal tracking so that it is in one place and I feel a little more accountable. It also is not dated.
Start Planner‘s Fancy Pants planner is more my style. I don’t actually have this one but I keep looking at the website. The Fancy Pants planner is $74 right now and starts mid-year. (So it’s dated). It has insert packs for teachers and photographers which may be useful for you. The pages look pretty cool but I think you will end up spending way more that the $74 once you get all the accessories you “need” to make it cool like the one in the picture.
The Daily Greatness Journal and Business Planner is another one I keep looking at. This one is even showing up in my Instagram feed! It is from Great Britain so the price is in pounds…and I don’t feel like figuring out how much that is in ‘Merican dollars…. This is an undated bound journal style planner. If you have a business and need to keep organized, this system may be something worth looking into.
Sacred Ordinary Days planner is my most recent purchase. I’m kinda excited about this one. (I should get it by Friday). You can purchase a test drive month for $2. I think this was a great option. I tried it for a few days and liked the format. This planner follows the liturgical calendar. It has scripture references from the Revised Common Lectionary. The size is a little smaller than I usually like for a planner BUT I’m going to use this planner as a journal for my morning devotions. There is even a Sunday page so that this planner can go to church with me when I doodle take notes during big church.
There also options of unbound or bound, Pre-liturgical year (August to November) and Academic Year which is shipping now. The bound edition is $55. That’s a lot for a journal but seems absolutely reasonable when you hear that “it’s for Jesus”…right?
I already have my 2017 planner purchased for $7.99 from TJ Maxx. I keep it on my desk at work to help me remember that I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER PLANNER. I can not find this one on the internet but I did find the website….which has pretty cool journals.
(This is kinda what my planner looks like…)
I could probably show you more that I’ve looked at or added to a cart or even used in the past. I told you I have a problem, now do you believe me? It’s not as bad as my hunt for the perfect pen, but it’s a close second.
What type of planner do you use? OR system? I didn’t even mention Erin Condren. Do you have any suggestions of other ones I need to look at?
Posted on August 16, 2016
Bubbles and Bad Attitudes
We registered for school. Summer is over.
Our summer bubble is gone. I love the summer bubble. It’s my summer hashtag. (#summerbubble) It’s that glorious time when we are the boss of ourselves and our time. No made up rules that we disagree with. It only includes my people and my tribe. Sometimes there’s others but it is on my terms and my choice. Total boss!
But the beloved summer bubble burst today. I was reminded of rules and checklists and all the things that have me pining for our summer by the end of March during the school year.
I despise the burst. It’s never a good thing. It happens every year and I’m taken aback like it’s never happened before. I don’t act very maturely to lists and arbitrary pieces of paper or demands on my time and handwriting abilities.
You may be shocked to know that I can not play nice when your rules make me feel inadequate or stupid. I am fierce when my children are involved. If you or your child have hurt my kid in the past, I am not mature enough to put on a nice face for you at any time…especially in the wake of a busted summer bubble. With that being said, please see my first day of school love note.
Dear teachers, administrators, staff members and parents: I don’t have it in my this year to put on my new school nice face. I’m going to try really hard. But if you were privy to my initial (failed) registration attempt yesterday, you’ve seen the best I can possibly put forth as I mourn the loss of summer freedom. It’s not you, it’s me. Well, it’s kinda you because you’re doing your job, but I’m going to try real hard not to hold that against you. I promise there will be a mom that has that smile for you. She will probably even sign up as room mom. Cling to her. Cling tightly. Let her real smile and true excitement for the beginning of the school year be your beacon. Lots of Love – Me.
Is it just me? How do you survive this transition without showing your a$$ at school registration? Hypothetically speaking….
Posted on August 10, 2016
Want It Wednesday: First Edition
It’s summer which means the new fall fashions are beginning to make their debut and the summer fashions I eyed in June are now on sale. I realized after an enjoyable conversation with other moms yesterday, that I need a list of wants.
So here it is, our first edition of Want It Wednesday!
- Ray-Ban Erika Metal Sunglasses. These are beautiful. I have a very stylish and cool friend that got these at the beginning of the summer and I still drool when I see her in them. You can get them here. Or you can go here for the black ones at half the price!
- Raining Rustic Boutique had the cutest kimono. I should have taken it from my friend’s body when I saw it last week. So if you see one like it, please buy it in a large/extra large and I’ll totally pay you back! Even though they don’t have the kimono anymore, they have several other cute things. You can follow them on instagram and be first to see when they have something you may need.
3. Shannan Martin has written a new book called Falling Free. I’m currently working my through all of her good words as a part of the book launch team. So far, it is challenging and beautiful and hard. It is a must read! If you pre-order her book here (which releases September 20, 2016) you can get some free stuff!!! 4. Bissell Symphony All-in-One Vacuum and Steam Mop. This has been in my Amazon cart since last December. The price has greatly reduced! I’m still waiting to move it to my cart. In my mind, it will simplify my house cleaning chores by combining vacuuming and mopping. Do you know anyone that has one? Will they come clean my house with it?
5. The Dot Girl First Period Kit. My girl is getting big. She is/has been hormonal. I’m not ready. I’m earnestly praying for Jesus to come back but I’m also preparing for the inevitable… One night I was up talking to myself and Jesus about having a pre-teen and came across this little kit. It has great reviews. I have such a fear that my girl will experience this life changing even while at school or at a friend’s house. This little kit fits in a backpack and waits patiently until it becomes a necessity. So it sits in my Amazon cart by the vacuum waiting for my denial of her hormones to pass.
That’s it for today. (Don’t worry, I have 38 items in my amazon cart…there’s plenty more for next week’s Want It Wednesday).
What’s on your want it list right now? (Or in your Amazon cart?…I love prime!)
