Hole Filling

Write 31 changed to write 30ish yesterday. I wanted to stop and write down all my thoughts and share the goodness I jumped into. But I didn’t.

Yesterday I stopped. Paused. And spent time with my soul sisters. We laughed and told stories and listened and sang (and I may have swayed to the music too!)

My home church had their annual Prayer retreat and my friend made sure I didn’t come up with any excuses. Last year I crawfished on her and backed out. Last year I wasn’t in a good place to spend uninterrupted time in prayer. Last year would have been full of ugly cries and embarrassing anger expressions.

These ladies taught me how to do church and how to be a Jesus lover as an adult. I had it down in high school. Then took a couple of years “off”… The women at my home church showed me flaws and hurts, love and laughter, joy and friendship. They showed up and stuck around even when I pushed them away. They didn’t let me retreat when the battle seemed overwhelming.

So I went to the retreat. Had my soul fed. And hugged the heck out of some necks. I miss these women and that church. I miss being comfortable and confident.

But I’m so glad God took us to a new place and had me start over. Trusting when that was all I had left has strengthened my view of life. Battling God with decisions and circumstances solidified my love for Him and for his people. It’s the hurt that helps me know that He will catch me when I fall, even if I think I’ve hit the ground.

You know you need a tribe. If you don’t know that…listen, you need a tribe. Those people that show their heartache and holes.