Posted on January 31, 2016
February Letter to my children
Each month I participate in a blog circle with other moms. We write letters to our children to document the quickly passing days. Many in our circle are photographers so you can read their words and see the beautiful pictures. Follow the link at the bottom of this post and hop around until you are back here.
That is what you are becoming. And it is painful. When you were 18 months old, I joked that you were practicing to be 2 because you were “advanced” in your temper tantrumming… Again, I find us at an “advanced” stage of teening. You can pre-teen like a rock star. The change has come about slowly. You’ve been practicing this new role for years but I was too blind to see our end result was you being exasperated and annoyed by me. But here we are…and I feel like you need to be reminded that you are in fact not a teen but an 11. This means we have about 18 months to be a real live teenager. Although I appreciate a good over-achiever as much as the next type A first-born mom, it would be excellent if you would chill out a bit and spend the next year and a half focusing on loving me and your annoying sister. (Be nice to dad too.) Let’s practice loving each other and save being annoyed for our real teen years. Okay? I love you so. I hurt when you hurt and really do look forward to real teen years when you will become a big man. Always, mom
I am so proud of you. You are such a beautiful, justice oriented kid. The end of 2015 was such a struggle. You have new anxieties and upsets that I’m unequippes to handle. You have faced super difficult challenges with your chin up and experienced terrible sorrow that isn’t fair or deserved. And I have learned so much from you. You’ve taught me when to love and when to hold my tongue. I love the empathetic and kind lady you are becoming. As we face 2016, our challenges don’t seem to be receding. Yesterday we went to the orthodontist and had a “habit breaker” put in. When I saw it I teared up and felt regret for having to take this step. I feel ashamed that I have not equipped you to face anxieties and troubles in a way that doesn’t harm your teeth (or shame you publicly). But you were not afraid. You owned the fact that your choices brought us to this decision. I want you to remember that this really hard step was survivable. We are so at the beginning of this journey that I have no concept of what we will be facing and fighting in the near future but I trust you will be confident and brave. Thank you for teaching me how to face challenges and be okay with whatever step is next. I love you to the moon. -mom
Father, thank you for children that challenge me and love me most of the time. Please give me confidence to parent them well. And courage to say no when I really just want them to be happy. Please give me wisdom and words when they challenge me. Help me be kind when I want to be say mean words back to them. Guard their hearts from hurts. Guard their minds from the yuck waiting around the corner. Guard their words so they build and protect others. Help us to love before we do anything else. Amen.
Click Here to hop over to Jackie and see how she is surviving daily life with her people.