Updated on November 3, 2015
Talking to Chickens
A week where you feel the burden of your family heavy on your shoulders.
A week where you feel the weight you have put on your body in your feet (literally) and in your heart (figuratively).
A week where you feel so lonely that the nothing is suffocating.
A week when you feel every last one of your feels and the feels of your people.
Last week was rough so I did a lot of chicken talking. Chickens don’t talk back. Chickens run to the back of the coop and stand there looking at you like you are crazy. (And I might be since I am talking to chickens).
I visited the coop to get away from feeling things in front of the kids. My feels were irrational. And mama-bear-ish. And not pretty. My chicken coop temper tantrum served no purpose. But it did make me feel a little ridiculous and remind me that I have chickens. At my new house. In our new community.
I BELIEVE GOD MOVED MY FAMILY FOR A REASON.
BUT I have no idea what it could be. As I struggle with a “why” that might be none of my business right now, I feel overwhelmed with loss and loneliness. (It’s not because the people in our new community haven’t been supportive, they have been so great.)
I feel loss and loneliness because we were so loved by our tribe. We were loved on and cared for and carried through some really hard stuff. These people showed up and huddled around me at my lowest and darkest (even if I didn’t want them to). They were my tribe and my people. They showed up to laugh and celebrate and love. I was loved so well.
My “loss” last week was selfish and impatient. I want a tribe now! I want people now! But that’s not how real life works. You build a tribe one laugh and one cry at a time.
So until the tribe is built, I will talk to chickens. I trust God will show up and be faithful and I’ll work my patience out one chicken visit at a time.
Because there is no gossip happening in the coop!
My friend Jennifer has joined me in a link up this month. She is honoring her mother with memories and sharing her loss. Click here to see how loving your family well matters.