Adult Fail

Adulting is hard. Being cool is really hard.

Nine days out of the week I don’t want to be a grown up. That’s right, 9 of the days. Because that’s how many times during the week that I don’t want to math either. As I drive myself to the grocery store, I think about how most days I don’t know how to be a grown-up. I don’t know what I’m doing at the grocery store. I don’t know what I’m doing trying to feed these fools. I walk around in circles hoping to have a culinary epiphany…..

And I have to tell you, I just don’t really like to adult at all. Why is it that I can’t get my seasonal wardrobe switched out without someone needing to be fed, or cleaned up, or helped out? Can I just hide in my closet undisturbed for the afternoon?

Being adult means that you’re supposed to understand stuff. I don’t always understand stuff. I’m don’t understand stuff most of the time. I answer “sure” and nod my head and grin real big, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

There’s also the whole cool part of being an adult that really stresses me out. And I’m beginning to realize that I’m not cool (and my kids are on to it too). For example…”Bye Felicia”. What the crap does that mean? Why is it funny? (Why did I like that statement when I really have no idea who Felicia is and why everyone seems to be saying Bye to her?)

I’ve asked my friends. They don’t know either. But their kids use the term and we assume it’s a successful use of the term…not that we know…. And it must be cool because now you can get a t-shirt too. What a cool t-shirt. (Is it a cool t-shirt? I have no idea).

I googled it. I had to know. It turns out that the term “Bye Felicia” is a reference to the movie Friday when Ice Cube is dismissing the crackhead Felicia. (So you say it when you don’t care or want to hear what someone is saying).

Being cool and adulting is hard. (Thank goodness for google…or it would just be impossible.)

No adulting required for my new cool club I’m starting.

Tell the truth…did you know who Felicia was???